About Me

Contact: misscalico at gmail dot com

I’ve been doing sex work of some sort since I was 19.  I started this blog when I moved to New York City and began working as a professional dominatrix in 2007.  At the time I wasn’t sure where to steer the blog, so the archives are a weird mix of self-aggrandizement, erotica, personal journal, and uninformed soapboxing.

I had no idea about feminism when I started this blog. Whether this has changed, I leave as an exercise to the reader.

I write a lot about BDSM.  It is a passion and a compulsion and an ever-reliable source of angst.

If reading my back entries seems overwhelming, your best bet is to navigate by tags.

28 responses

  1. David Larson comments:

    Dear Mistress,

    I am writing because I am a fan of your blog and wanted to put you onto my literary blog, heartbrokedaily.com. It’s written in the voice of a fictional character, who, every day, relates the story of a different woman who broke his heart. It’s supposed to be both funny and sad. We recently got plugs from metafilter, glamour magazine online, presurfer and the Orlando Sentinel, among others.

    Obviously, it’d be cool if you wrote about it or linked to the site, but I’d really just appreciate it if you’d check it out and let me know what you think.

    Thanks for your time,


  2. servirdaty comments:


    Love your blog and you are sooo tasty looking as well. Just wanted you to know when one clicks on the Gallery in Firefox it somehow doesn’t let you back too your page.

    Just wanted to let you know.

  3. Calico comments:

    Thanks for reading!

    I will make sure to add the gallery bug to the ever-growing list of things to sort. :)

  4. Mike comments:

    Hi Calico! I was watching one of your Infernal Restraints vids (for, oh, the thirtieth time or so) and googled you to learn more … and ended up here. This is a great blog; I find your posts and views super interesting. It got me thinking. For some reason, it’s a huge turn-on for me when fetish-porn models in sub roles turn out to be complex, independent-thinking intellectuals. I think maybe it’s because the more thoughtful the model is, the more the fetish video becomes kind of an in-joke between viewer and actress, which makes the fun but unromantic act of getting off to a degrading porn vid more liberatingly enjoyable. Wow, I read that back and it does not make any sense. Anyway, I hope to see you in lots more fetish vids. I love healthy good looks backed up by depth of mind, and could probably watch a clip of you reading the paper for 20 minutes without getting too bored. I wish you had your own clips site so you could explore various fetish oddities at low cost and higher-volume than the occasional major Kink.com (or similar) production. Best wishes,

  5. Tristram comments:

    Hey, Elissa referred me to you when I asked her if she knew any fetish photographers or models living in NYC.

    Just to cut to it, I have a friend doing a piece for the NY post on Arena Studios, and I was wondering whether you had ever worked with them. If so, I’d like to refer her to your site. She’s not ‘in the scene’, so she’s kind of using me a name finer.

    Thanks either way, and hope you can make it in New York New York.

  6. servirdaty comments:

    Hi Calico,

    I would love to spend some time with you as a submissive. I love your blog and also think you are incredibly sexy. Respond by email if you are interested.

    Hoping to hear from you.

  7. Calico comments:

    @Tristram – I’m not a contact for Arena, but I dropped you an email to say more re: the Post.

    @servirdaty – Thanks for the compliments! Unfortunately I am not looking for a submissive, either personally or professionally. I’m glad you enjoy my blog. :)

  8. Kink.com fans in Berkeley comments:

    Hey there!

    Just wanted to say we are fans of your shoots on Kink.com and we hope to see much more of you. Actually, we were wondering when you would do a Domme shoot for their MenInPain site?

    We are also lifestylers and are getting our feet wet in the sex industry so we were also wondering if you have any tips for us and other people who are interested in shooting only for sites like Kink.com

    (We prefer e-mail for privacy reasons)

  9. Eli comments:

    Hi MissCalico!

    I discovered you on Kink.com the other day (via the new three-girl post on Whipped Ass, specifically) and was blown away. I was delighted to be told by the Googles that you have a web presence, and an erudite one at that. I get to match a face to a brain :) .

    I’ve read here and there, learned a bunch about the industry. The Craigslist news deep-throats a donky pud :-/. I’m not worried about it quelching sex workers, though. Quickly enough there will just be some keyword under casual encounters for the clued-in, or another site, cautiously hosted in Sweden. Your Atlanta story was sweet. I write erotic fiction too, perhaps we can exchange.

    Even better, I clicked through to your Twitter feed and saw you’re coming to the Boston area, which is where I live. Where are you dancing? I’d love to come see you :)


  10. Emma comments:

    Hi Miss Calico,
    you were highly recommended to me to come speak at a student-run sexuality counseling group at a Boston-area university. If you could shoot me an email (I’m having some trouble finding your specific contact information) I would love to be able to add you to our current line-up.
    Thanks for your time! I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon


  11. MaxS comments:

    Hi Ms.Calico

    Can you tell me how to hire you as a model for a video project in California ?
    Sorry but I don’t know how else to contact you.



  12. Andrew comments:

    Though I’m just a college kid, I love your blog, it reflects lots about you and your adventures in New York and BDSM.

    Have a nice day! :)

  13. Don comments:

    I recently ran across videos of you on line and found you so attractive I had to know more – that’s how I found your blog. When I saw the picture you left of yourself bruised and discolored from one of your “lapses,” I was saddened and upset. That is a little extreme! Please be careful. I’d hate to think of you being harmed like that.

  14. Calico comments:

    Hi Don, thanks for your comment. I know that some of the play I do is extreme and I understand & appreciate your concern. I think the thing to remember though is that a physically extreme experience — like a kickboxing match, a half marathon, or say, a BDSM scene — is not necessarily bad, unhealthy or harmful. They’re just bruises after all! Most of us wouldn’t want to do it, but for those of us who do, a few bumps are the welcome price of playing the game. :)

  15. Don comments:

    Not to suggest you should play it safe, or that you shouldn’t play at all – there are acceptable risks in many activities. We know, however, that there are bad people out there who would cause harm with intent. Harder to identify are irresponsible people who put their own pleasure or agenda so far above those they are in contact with that they can cause the same harm, then rationalize away any fault of their own. Know who you’re with, never put yourself in the hands of bad or irresponsible people, and you’ll do fine. Enjoy!

  16. Miss Margo comments:

    Awesome mansplaining, Don! I am sure Calico found your Fresh Dudely Wisdom very edifying–Lord knows I did!

    The nerve. It’s fine to express concern for her health and safety, but how on earth do you get off swooping in and telling an experienced, ex-professional sadomasochist what she needs to do in order to “do fine?”

  17. Paul comments:

    “a few bumps are the welcome price of playing the game”. 3 weeks ago I experienced my very first ever severe “spanking”. Since I worked up the courage to give into my urge I can asure you that truer words were never spoken.
    I admire you for living your life so freely and playing the game so well. I wish I had had the courage to do what you are doing.

  18. Don comments:

    Just saw Margo,s comment. Didn’t mean to be presumptive or to earn her sarcasm-dripping ire. I’m sure you can take or ignore any advice I give. I just think that however accustomed we are to our own jungles, it doesn’t hurt to hear the obvious now and again. There really are lions and tigers and bears out there, so beware and be aware. If you really needed Margo to come to your defense I think you’d be black and blue all the time. Congratulations, Paul.

  19. Loosenuts comments:

    I understand your comment about not stripping with those bruises, but there are some of us that would love to see them and other post BDSM markings like rope marks(not rope burns) from tight bondage.
    While I would never inflict any such marks on someone that did not truely want them, the images take me back to my high school days when I was fortunate enough to have a girlfriend that liked it as much as you apearantly do.

    In particular I (and her) liked the rope marks left from heavy nylon rope around virtually any part of our bodies. (Ok we used lighter rope for fingers and toes and such. Never found a good way to tie ears)

    Unfortuantely that was well before the age of digital photography so we have no pictures.

  20. Loosenuts comments:

    I’d love to see your bruises. And any other post BDSM marks/ Of particular interest are rope marks (not rope burns) form tight bondage on virtually any part of your body. Unfortunately these marks seem to be the fastest to fade.

    I had an eye exam after lunch a few months ago and the nurse that administered it had some rope marks around both wrists and arms. I didn’t want to look through the danged machine until she put her wrist right infront of the lenses to adjust them. Glad she left the room before I had to stand up.

    Makes me wonder about her “nooner”.

  21. Barry comments:

    Awesome! I can’t stop reading your posts, you write them in such I way I feel as if I’m right there watching you, please never stop sharing xxx

  22. Ben comments:

    Hey Calico!

    First of all, your blog is kickass. I really enjoy your no-strings-attached writing style, and wish more strippers would open windows into their lives.

    I wanted to reach out to you because I think you might be interested in a new online community for exotic dancers/strippers http://www.dancethepoles.com. The aim is to provide the tools and the space for dancers to organize, share, and improve their work and life experiences. The site has recently launched and the focus now is to build the user base through mentions in magazines, blogs, websites, etc.

    Have a look at the site and let me know what you think.

    In stripping solidarity,

    Ben Haffie
    Project Director,
    Dance The Poles, LLC.

  23. joey comments:

    I am a restaurantuer in nyc and vegas and la and a twitter follower of yours for years i would love to invite you to on of our restos for diner you can google me or just contact you have my email i hope to hear back luv that u luv food from your fan joe ciao

  24. homepage comments:

    I love it when people come together and share thoughts.

    Great website, stick with it!

  25. Shane Bondy comments:

    Hi Calico, I think your an amazing person for doing the things you enjoy doing and pushing yourself to the extreme. I love all your videos, they are such a major turn on for me. I just wish I will be able to have the privilege to do the same to you someday. I feel like asking you an interesting question, but I don’t have one in mind at the moment. If I come up with one I’ll just you a tweet.

  26. TW comments:

    I read your recent post about your “relapses” and accepting that you are going to be bruised sometimes, and that this sometimes puts you out of work. I’m curious, why does it have to put you out of work? Pictures of your marks are quite sexy, and there’s no way I’m the only one who thinks so. If you’re concerned about your professional image, why don’t you operate a separate site specifically geared towards viewers who are into marks?

  27. TW comments:

    Oh, and I just saw you’re into home sewing. That’s awesome. I just got my first machine, and it’s so much fun!

  28. tj comments:

    would you please do more tickling videos. i love your laugh.

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