on the whore’s fallacy
May 3rd, 2010From Dear Coke Talk, who may singlehandedly redeem the advice column genre:
I’m gonna go ahead and call this situation the “whore’s fallacy.” It’s that classic false dichotomy between love or money that sex workers insist upon whining about, and it’s total bullshit.
You don’t have to choose between love or money. You can have both.
All you need is the emotional intelligence to engage in sex work safely and thoughtfully, the emotional integrity to choose a boyfriend who is strong enough handle it, and the emotional honesty to be open with him about what you do.
SING IT SISTER!
She says it here.
May 8th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Here’s one guy’s response based on my limited experience in having relationships with sex workers.
You may be right, that you can have both love and money. (I just wish I could have both money and time). However, what you call the “whores fallacy” does not make it easier on the woman to have a relationship. At least not in my experience. This is because her work can color or affect what the couple talks about, may affect their friends (who is vanilla, who is not and who is kinky but is not out), and may be an obstacle for other things she wants to do.
And even if the boyfriend is strong enough to handle it, that is different than being completely ok with it.
That said, your point about being honest about what you are doing for work and how it affects you is pretty important for the boyfriend. Hiding what you do would be exhausting and if he is not ok with what you have chosen to do then he is probably not the right guy.
June 6th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Here here! Great quote!