rant: on men being more dominant
June 7th, 2010So you may have noticed I play submissive to men. Lately I am trying to own it more.
But I don’t, in any way, think men are “more dominant” than women.
I believe that if we got over our cultural baggage, we would have as many dominant women as we have dominant men. I believe that women wouldn’t grow up quashing their inclinations as unfeminine and unattractive, molding their passions into “feminine” channels, feeling isolated and wrong, or assuming they must be butch, queer or even men. (Not that there is anything wrong with being those things, if you want to be.)
I believe that many things are wrong with femdom and that we need compassionate, realistic archetypes for dominant women before women will want to embody them. I believe that submissive men can and have to help us toward those archetypes by recognizing the femdom fantasy as shallow and destructive, and doing the equally necessary work of creating themselves — whatever their kink — as strong, desirable, and whole.
When we have done all this, then you can run the statistics and tell me that men are more “naturally dominant”. Until then — in what fucking nature?
