Escorting was the final frontier in sex work for me. I’ve hesitated for a long time to talk about it. Lots of porn girls do it, but few (even the ones who do) admit to it. Side note: Guys, please don’t construe this as a suggestion that all porn girls escort. They don’t. If they do, they’ll put it out there, and if you see it, feel free to pursue it, but don’t tell girls that Calico told you they’re all whores. OK? ’Cause they’re not. OK.
The real trouble wasn’t sex (remember, in porn I’d been having sex with strangers for money since 2005), it was screening clients and answering my phone. One of my charming eccentricities is that I’m shy; like, really shy. Incapacitatingly shy. I know, I’ve done all this fearless shit, right? And that’s true. I am totally functional right up to the point where I’m totally not. One of the few ways I still exhibit it is a crippling fear of phone and email. So I never thought I could escort until I found an experienced phone-girl-for-hire. She sounded perfect; I met her other clients; we drew up an agreement for her weekly rate and just like that, we went into business.
Things didn’t go as planned. She was used to managing tantric body rub girls who charged $300/hr and cleared $3000/week. At $600/hr, she swore, I’d make $6000 a week… Easy! Instead, on my best weeks I made a quarter of that. Usually I’d do one hour in a whole week, half of which was her fee. Even when I didn’t book work for a week or three, of course, I still had to pay her. And that happened more often than not.
We parted ways amicably, if befuddled. At least I was.
It was several months later and several drinks into the night when I met a girl at my house party who told me she was a pro-sub. ”Oh, yeah?” I said, also several drinks in. ”What else do you do? Because that’s not really a job.” ”Well,” she said, “it’s full service.” ”Really?!” I said. I’d love to remember that I offered her another drink, but I think I was so engrossed I got us locked on the roof. That’s me. Always smooth.
So that was how I met Kat, and started working with her in September, and in a fairly direct relationship, that’s how I went back to college. If I graduate, that girl deserves a ticket in the bleachers.
Kat works for me on a percentage, rather than a flat fee. If I don’t book, she doesn’t get paid, which is great for me on the inevitable weeks when I don’t get work! She doesn’t like to publically discuss the percentage we split, but I will say it’s fair. It’s much better than 50%, which is the NYC agency standard. I will also say I would pay her more in a heartbeat. Not everyone feels this way about taking a cut, but not everyone is desperately phobic about phones.
Now that I’m in school, I describe it like having my own dating service. Because I have a specific, fetish-focused ad, I’ll only meet people who are interested in the same sort of [redacted] I am. Everyone has references, so we know they aren’t serial killers. And best of all, I don’t even have to do the setup myself. While I’m struggling through calculus or physics, dates appear magically on my calendar. But only as many as I want, and only when I want them! It really doesn’t get better than that.
I’m having the best sex of my life and I just have to show up. Do you begin to understand why I would pay her more?
This job is not for everybody, but I love it. I just hope to God I don’t give Kat a breakdown before my senior year.